Forever A-Men by John Trevillian

Author:John Trevillian [TREVILLIAN, JOHN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd

I’m flying across the heavens astride the Thunderbird. Through a scattering of stars like diamond dust. The mythical beast’s thunderous wings’re beating like a coronary. And I’m thinking about Doggie. Not about my imminent tryst with mr evil bad faerie. Not about being reunited with the sex and explosions that are Susie-Sue. Not about the inevitable invasion-cum-massacre-cum-end-of-the-world that’s set to follow. No, not all that big bad kinda stuff, but something smaller. Something more important. It’s something I forgot to ask. For in all the horror and madness that was my journey into the woods, my rescue and ultimately my power-crazed answer to a fairly simple question, I forgot to ask Dingo about the Dead City dreams. Now I’ve time to think about it, I would’ve asked, “Hey, where’d you come from? Don’t you mind all this? Don’t you think this place’s odd?” And here with my face touching the stars, I imagine what he would’ve said back. The only reply that makes sense is: “Not if it means I can look like this!”

And there you have it. The way God works.

Giving us exactly what we most desire.

Asshole.

And I guess that means wherever Pure is right now, she’s getting the same treatment. Which just goes to show how much we’re seduced by the power of Forevermore. The beauty of always. Y’see that’s the trouble with stories. It’s not what the words say on the page, it’s what the words do to your mind.

Below me the winter tundra glistens. Daybreak’s making my no-man’s land as bright as tin. A brand new twenty-four hours filled with shit and possibilities, but for me the future’s all in the past. Though the mardi gras madness that was DC’s just languishing, I know there’s worse ahead. I can only guess how difficult the next days, months, years are going to be. Or what it feels like to have to face what I am going to face. And when I ask for comfort, all I offer back is: when the future seems daunting, when you get scared of pain and death and general raining shit, don’t think of what it feels like to have all this in front of you, think instead of what it will be like to have it all behind you.

Spoken in Midnight’s voice.

Right there inside my head. Ringing like a bell.

“To be behind you in the past,” she continues, “not haunting the corner of every day of your future. To rise on a morning where you have not been woken an hour before daybreak to bathe in scented waters. To open your eyes knowing your kingdom is safe from all foes. To not have to face the smell of burning corpses or the prospect of lessons in ritual and household magick. Think of what it will be like to spend each day with the freedom of knowing that all those people, all those situations, all that crap, is gone. Done. Finished.”

And just hearing this, it helps. Just realising that I will one day be done.

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